Bullying

by John Galt

What have we become?  A young girl cannot escape bullying and kills herself and the bullies dance on her grave.  No remorse.  No conscience.  Although the bullies are barely teenagers, they should know better.  Right and wrong are something we were taught as children.  At least it used to be.  And, the sanctity of human life is the basis of our moral code.  It is what sets us apart from the animals.  At least it used to set us apart. 

When I hear of a heinous crime, I ask myself if this is a new fracture in our moral psyche or because of all of the available media venues, it is only more reported.  Is it new or is it as it has always been, but now reported 24/7?

Cruelty has forever been part of the human experience.  There has always been a human element in the spoils of war.  Historically, human life has been a traded commodity.  We call ourselves civilized now, yet cruelty remains.  Often it is the cruelly-applied power one person holds over another.  Today, social media is a venue used by uncivilized humans to reign terror over others.  It allows kids to stalk and attach others relentlessly.  They can attack in a most cowardly way, hiding behind a keyboard, never facing the victim.  Worse, it can become a virtual gang of hate and misinformation.  It is mob mentality at its worst.

So, maybe the level of cruelty remains constant over history and into our present day, but there are more and newer ways to propagate terror and hate.  The days of peaceful oblivion are over.  You cannot unplug yourself from the pipeline of information.  Asking for your email address is as common as asking for your phone number twenty years ago.  It is how we communicate.

My heart breaks for the kids that are victims of bullies.  We need to equip our kids with strategies to handle bullies, to speak up about bullying and safe, effective ways to report bullying.  At an age that appearance is everything, it is often hard for kids to seek help.  So often they hide behind a pained smile and “I’m fine” response.  They prefer not to make waves.  They suffer in silence until it is too late.

So, given that schools rely on the internet to relay information to kids, track their grades and make assignments, how do we make it safe for everyone?  I suggest that we instill a parental control.  I’m not talking about the software you can buy to manage your kids’ access to the internet; I’m talking about a parent in the room with eyes on their kid’s activities.  And, not just the parents of the terrorists.  Watch out for signs that your kids are being terrorized.  Be your child’s strongest advocate.

Remember when your dad said, “My house, my rules!”?  Be a parent.  Be accountable for the actions of your children.  Set rules and enforce them.  Make your kids aware of your expectations.  Correct inappropriate behavior.  Seek counseling if you or your child needs guidance or to correct behaviors.  Ask a parent that you trust to be your mentor.  Join a support group at your church.  No one is a failure as long as they keep trying!

How kids conduct themselves today have long-term impacts.  These are the kids that will be in charge of your life decisions when you get old.  Do you want someone that would bully a child to suicide to make decisions on your care when you cannot make the decisions for yourself?  You reap what you sow.  Parents, can you live with that?