Helping the Healing

My child had non-emergency surgery this week.  Although I knew the surgery was going to happen for quite a while, when it came time for my child to be wheeled back to the operating room, it was quite emotional for me.  The heartache and mental anguish I felt when strangers wheeled my baby away was almost overwhelming.  But, my family is lucky, blessed really.  Ministers and church members were with us to pray before surgery and to sit with us during the surgery.  We had many get-well-wishes from friends and family both near and far.  The prayers, the thoughts and acts of kindness helped me to get through this both emotionally and spiritually.  I am grateful to everyone who texted, emailed, called or just sent good-thoughts in general.  I am especially grateful to everyone who prayed, I can’t thank you enough.

As my child, swollen and bloodied from surgery, lay in the hospital bed sleeping, I thanked God for a successful surgery and prayed for a quick and complete recovery.  However, as I reflected on the day, I began to wonder about those parents who watch their child, broken and bleeding from some trauma or injury, and how they deal with the heartache and anguish.  How do parents, watching their child fight the ravages of cancer or debilitating disease, survive and function to carry on another day?  Are they blessed with the support of friends and church to help them soldier on or are they alone with no one to support or care?

And what about the parents who, while suffering through their child’s medical troubles, have to worry about the out-of-pocket costs of treatment or whether insurance will pay? How do you practically live at the hospital, knowing you may have to sell your home to pay for treatment?

How do we help these people in their time of trouble? How do we let them know that there is a support network of people who care?  We can help by donating our money and our time.

There are many charities, both local and national, that accept monetary donations.  Ronald McDonald House Charities provide housing, at little or no costs, so families can stay close to their hospitalized child.  Shriners Hospitals for Children have hospitals that specialize in orthopedics, burn care, cleft lip and palate repair, and spinal cord injuries, and patients are accepted based on medical need, not ability to pay.  St. Jude Children’s Research Hospital is dedicated to finding cures and preventative means to stop devastating and often tragic childhood diseases.  They too, accept patients based on medical need, not the ability to pay.

Closer to home, many hospitals have organizations with volunteers to help patients and families by serving as patient escorts, information clerks, or as hosts in critical care waiting areas.  Not only do these volunteers provide valuable services to the patients and families, they free up hospital resources or reduce hospital costs.

Some hospitals also have hospitality houses or apartments, providing housing for family members while their child is hospitalized.  Many are run by non-profit organizations that rely on donations and volunteers to keep them operating. 

Help these families and children in their time of need by donating to one of these or other patient services organizations.  Volunteer your time, either by serving as a volunteer or by helping with fundraising activities.  Sometimes it’s as simple as participating in a local fundraising fun run or bake sale, manning a phone, or saying prayers.  This is a time of great need.   Remember the Golden Rule and do onto others as you would like them to do unto you.  Be part of the blessing and provide comfort to a family struggling with a medical crisis. Get involved and help.  

Mistaken Philosophy

Cynthia Tucker is a Pulitzer Prize-winning syndicated columnist.  Long ago, I learned that I rarely agree with anything she writes.  However, her latest missive, Ben Carson, admirable man with a mistaken philosophy, caught my eye, so I read her article.  As it turns out, I still disagree with Ms. Tucker.  In this case, I believe she’s the one with a mistaken philosophy.

Ben Carson is the director of pediatric neurosurgery at Johns Hopkins Hospital.  Until a few weeks ago, I’d never heard of him, but his speech at the National Prayer Breakfast in February attracted a lot of media attention.  In his speech, Carson commented on social and fiscal issues such as political correctness, education, and the national debt.  Some pundits argued that his speech, conservative in nature, was disrespectful to President Obama, who was in attendance.  Others have argued that his blunt, honest speech was exactly what the country needs to hear.

Dr. Carson and his brother were raised by single mother, who could barely read, but realized that education would give her sons greater opportunities. She limited their TV and required them to read.  In his speech, Dr. Carson talked about his mother and he talked about how reading led him to a different discovery.  He said, “I began to see that the person who has the most to do with you and what happens to you in life is you. You make decisions. You decide how much energy you want to put behind that decision. And I came to understand that I had control of my own destiny. And at that point I didn’t hate poverty anymore, because I knew it was only temporary. I knew I could change that. It was incredibly liberating for me, made all the difference.” Dr. Carson, it seems believes that hard work, education, and responsibility are the keys to success.

In her column, Ms. Tucker takes issue with Dr. Carson’s philosophy.  She states, “Yet, black Americans know better than to believe those traits are enough to guarantee success.”  She goes on to state that between 2000 and 2010, the number of black Americans living in poverty rose from 22.5% to 27.4%.  She then asks, “Was there a sudden outbreak of indolence among black folk over that period? Or were there outside forces that conspired to knock them back down the economic ladder?” I would suggest that the problem is, in large part, a lack of education and personal responsibility.

A report by the National Center for Education Statistics shows the high school graduation rate for the school year 2009-2010 for black students was 66.1%.  The same report shows a dropout rate of 8%. The Alliance for Excellent Education estimates that the average annual income of a high school dropout in 2009 was $19,540. By comparison, a high school graduate’s average income was $27,380 and people with associate’s and bachelor’s degrees made even more.  Data from the Bureau of Labor Statistics shows that high school dropouts have a higher unemployment rate during an economic recession than high school or college graduates.  So, education does play a part in earning potential.

A National Center for Health Statistics report indicates that 72% of the black births in 2011 were to unmarried women.  Numerous studies have shown that children in single parent homes are more likely to drop out of school.  The majority of single black mothers have no high school diploma and are limited to low or minimum wage jobs.  Because these jobs often don’t pay enough to cover the costs of child care, more than half of single black mothers are not in the work force, but receive public assistance to provide food and housing.

The Bureau of Judicial Statistics data indicates that blacks make up roughly 38% of the male prison population in this country.  Most of these men are in jail for drug-related offenses.  A Harvard study published in the American Sociological Review, indicates that the number of jobs available to ex-convicts is less and the average wages of those who do find employment is almost 25% less than the wages of those never incarcerated. 

While education, hard work, and personal responsibility don’t guarantee a person will become a famous neurosurgeon, a Pulitzer-prize winning author, or President of the United States, in this country, these attributes can raise a person out of a life destined for poverty.  And, without education and personal responsibility, a life of poverty is pretty much a guarantee. 

Set goals for yourself.  Be personally responsible for your own success and make choices that help you meet your goals.  Take advantage of the education opportunities offered by the local schools, trade schools, colleges, and universities and build a foundation for success.  Make education important and commit to graduating.  If you cannot afford formal training, get a library card and read books on subjects that interest you.  It’s never too late to learn something new. 

Ms. Tucker does point out a mistaken philosophy in her column, but it’s not Dr. Carson’s philosophy that is mistaken.  The mistaken philosophy is believing the media and its excuses about the unimportance of person responsibility in personal success.