Participation Awards

Another post from John Galt

We have gone too far.  Our group-hug mentality is causing a social mess with our kids.  It is apparent in the popularity of Facebook, the “need” for instant messaging, and how people drive.  Just so you know, and before it is lost in the following, everything you do or say is not a pearl.  And, everyone doesn’t need to plug into your train of thought.  You are not as interesting as you think.  You are not as good a driver as you believe.  Maybe your mom lied when she said you were her favorite or you were the best kid on the team.  Moms have said those things for years—it’s in the mom’s handbook—but in the past, you didn’t get a participation trophy just for showing up.  To get a trophy, you had to excel, and yes, that means when measured against others, you were better than they were.

Now, the parenting handbooks have gone crazy with cautions that your self-esteem will be forever damaged unless we tout your every action.  If you merely show up for school every day, you get an award.  Now, you don’t have to participate in class or turn in your homework; you only have to be present in the school building for the majority of the day.  If you show up, you’re a member of the team, no tryouts and no cuts.  If you are a member of a team, you get a participation award.  Not that you work hard in practice, participate in the game, conduct yourself in a sportsman-like manner or score, just that you are present.  How low have we set the bar to be rewarded?  Shouldn’t we expect more?

Maybe this practice of rewarding “I was present, thus I contributed”, has permeated our social practices.  Some people only participate if there is a physical or financial reward.  What happened to doing something for the good of others, or just feeling good because you helped someone—more so, what if you did a good deed and didn’t tell anyone?  If you haven’t done a good deed for a while, try it.  The warm feeling inside will last much longer than the $20 gift certificate.

Some people act as though they are autonomous when driving.  I’m thinking this is a fall out of the entitlement mentality that comes from thinking everything you do is a gem.  Well, I was in traffic with you yesterday and you really cannot text and drive safely, no matter how many times your mom told you that you were the best at everything.  And, when you are in a hurry and drive manically, you put me at risk.  Manically is not a compliment, just in case you are unfamiliar with criticism. 

So, I offer some criticism in hopes that you reassess your abilities, your interactions with the world and your self-image.  Average is not a good thing to be.  Normal is a vanilla-flavored, beige-walls average.  Average says you are so similar to everyone else as to be indistinguishable.  If they (your mom, your coach, your teacher) are telling you that you are outstanding, are they also telling everyone else the same?  Hate for anyone to feel left out in the group-hug-everyone-is-satisfied-world.  But, there are truly outstanding people.  They tend to be intelligent, curious, courteous, kind, mannered, gracious, trustworthy, and moral and they walk a different path than the rest.  Notice that in none of the words would this person think they were the center of the universe.  They are also the people that do the right thing even when no one is watching and don’t spend the day talking or Facebooking about it.

A culture that rewards average, sufficient, and just enough doesn’t provoke us to aspire to more.  We each think that we are a winner (hey, I got a trophy), yet collectively, we are the “normal” without any outstanding character.  So, question if you really are a good driver when you are texting or is that constant honking because you keep crossing the line.  Question if you should be more involved in your community than just being a member with a common address.  Step up and step out to find your true potential.  You may not get an award, but as I read recently, “The only thing a man can have on this earth and take with him when he goes is a good name.”  How good is your name?  Or are you just one of the faceless, nameless in the crowd?