Under Pressure

Last week, the kids headed back to school.  As with every new school year, there was a mixture of excitement and angst.  Even the kids were excited (I think).

It’s a tough job being a student.  There’s peer pressure, pressure to achieve academically, pressure to excel in sports, and the pressure to fit too many activities in too little time.  A Columbia University study found that 60% of high school students surveyed responded that they attended a “drug-infected” school.  The study also pointed out that “digital peer pressure” in the form of social media, makes a significantly negative impact on students, heavily influencing their decisions on the use of alcohol, drugs, and tobacco.

Students are under pressure to excel academically to get into college or to pass the numerous standardized tests imposed by state and federal education departments. A study by the Educational Testing Service, the organization that administers the Graduate Record Examinations and other standardized tests, estimates that 75% of high school students participate in academic cheating and the cheating is due, primarily, to the emphasis on high grades.

Athletes are also pressured to excel.  According to a survey by the Josephson Institute Center for Sports Ethics, in addition to pressure from overbearing parents, many athletes are pressured to cheat to maintain academic eligibility or comply with the “win at all costs” attitudes of coaches and fellow players.

A 2006 report by the American Academy of Pediatrics says students' lives are overscheduled long before they enter their teenage years. The report faults "changes in family structure, competitive college admissions process[es], federal education policies [and] fear a child may fall behind academically" for compelling parents to enroll their children in plenty of "developmental activities."

As I said, it’s tough being a student. I can’t imagine going through the high school years again.  Daily, students deal with negative peers, negative coaches, negative teachers, and a negative school environment.  They are overscheduled and their efforts are often underappreciated.  As parents and mentors, it’s up to us to fill them up with positive encouragement and praise.

How? Take time to listen to them and to understand their concerns.  Sure, whatever is on their mind today may be forgotten in a few days, but at the moment it’s huge to them.  Find some time to spend with them away from the normal routine and distractions, and simply listen to what they say.  Sometimes, all they want is for someone to listen.  Make your praise specific.  Instead of simply saying “good job”, tell them what the good job was so they know you were paying attention.  And don’t be stingy with the praise; it costs you nothing to give.

As the kids go off to school this year, I pray that they have successful and happy school years.  Whether you are a parent, a teacher, a coach, or a youth leader, give your students what they want; someone to set healthy boundaries and a relationship with an adult that truly cares about them.  As Herbert Hoover said, “Children are our most valuable resource.”