Another post from John Galt
We have gone
too far. Our group-hug mentality is
causing a social mess with our kids. It
is apparent in the popularity of Facebook, the “need” for instant messaging,
and how people drive. Just so you know,
and before it is lost in the following, everything you do or say is not a
pearl. And, everyone doesn’t need to
plug into your train of thought. You are
not as interesting as you think. You are
not as good a driver as you believe.
Maybe your mom lied when she said you were her favorite or you were the
best kid on the team. Moms have said
those things for years—it’s in the mom’s handbook—but in the past, you didn’t
get a participation trophy just for showing up.
To get a trophy, you had to excel, and yes, that means when measured
against others, you were better than they were.
Now, the
parenting handbooks have gone crazy with cautions that your self-esteem will be
forever damaged unless we tout your every action. If you merely show up for school every day,
you get an award. Now, you don’t have to
participate in class or turn in your homework; you only have to be present in
the school building for the majority of the day. If you show up, you’re a member of the team,
no tryouts and no cuts. If you are a
member of a team, you get a participation award. Not that you work hard in practice, participate
in the game, conduct yourself in a sportsman-like manner or score, just that
you are present. How low have we set the
bar to be rewarded? Shouldn’t we expect
more?
Maybe this
practice of rewarding “I was present, thus I contributed”, has permeated our
social practices. Some people only
participate if there is a physical or financial reward. What happened to doing something for the good
of others, or just feeling good because you helped someone—more so, what if you
did a good deed and didn’t tell anyone?
If you haven’t done a good deed for a while, try it. The warm feeling inside will last much longer
than the $20 gift certificate.
Some people
act as though they are autonomous when driving.
I’m thinking this is a fall out of the entitlement mentality that comes
from thinking everything you do is a gem.
Well, I was in traffic with you
yesterday and you really cannot text and drive safely, no matter how many times
your mom told you that you were the best at everything. And, when you are in a hurry and drive
manically, you put me at risk. Manically
is not a compliment, just in case you are unfamiliar with criticism.
So, I offer
some criticism in hopes that you reassess your abilities, your interactions
with the world and your self-image.
Average is not a good thing to be.
Normal is a vanilla-flavored, beige-walls average. Average says you are so similar to everyone
else as to be indistinguishable. If they
(your mom, your coach, your teacher) are telling you that you are outstanding,
are they also telling everyone else the same?
Hate for anyone to feel left out in the
group-hug-everyone-is-satisfied-world.
But, there are truly outstanding people.
They tend to be intelligent, curious, courteous, kind, mannered,
gracious, trustworthy, and moral and they walk a different path than the
rest. Notice that in none of the words
would this person think they were the center of the universe. They are also the people that do the right thing
even when no one is watching and don’t spend the day talking or Facebooking
about it.